You should have a love advice column.
We do have a love advice columnist skilled at the art of solving any romantic dilemma. This individual sits at his keyboard ready to craft the most timely and effective solutions to affairs of the heart. Why not take advantage of his services and let us know the crux of your problem. Could it be that you are dating a Trump supporter? Does your significant other text you more than he talks to you? Does he think you aren’t funny enough? Are you wondering if it’s okay to date your best friend’s ex? Let us know and our sensitive and caring advice columnist will find you the perfect solution.
Sincerely, Sensitive and Caring in the Newsroom
Stop Rosesting PUC Athletics Subliminally!!!
We at the Campus Chronicle are delighted you
wrote, but are unfamiliar with the word “rosesting.”
Unfortunately, we haven’t been able to locate the word in any dictionary, which has left us unable to comply with your request. At the risk of sounding ignorant, did you by chance mean to write R-O-A-ST-I-N-G?
If so, we need further guidance. Do you use
the word “roast” as a form of celebration? Or, are you accusing us of ridiculing and pillorying PUC’s athletic teams in our sports coverage? Please rest assured that the Campus Chronicle staff has only the
highest regard for the hard work and dedication of our student athletes and their physical prowess. It’s your spelling skills that concern us.
Sincerely, Befuddled in the Newsroom
Why can’t we use our cafe cards at the market??
Due to tight deadlines, we have been unable to confirm our answer with a knowledgeable source, but common sense tells us that you can’t use your cafeteria card at the College Market because the college cafeteria is run by Bon Appetit and the College Market is run by Howell Mountain Enterprises. Just a hunch. However, reliable sources tell us that teachers/staff can use their ID cards in the new deli found in the College Market. It is unfortunate students do not yet have that privilege.
Sincerely, Satiated in the Newsroom